Powerless EV
by Jou-ChanHimura
Summary: How an amazing day can be destroyed by the appearance of someone from Kenshin's past... and how a bad decision can destroy everything they fought for. Will Kenshin and Kaoru found a way to be happy again? Sorry I am no good at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my new fic.**

**It's going to be short maybe only 15 chapters.**

**I rushed a little into publishing it without a scrutinizing revise, but please, be patient with me.**

**Hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter 1 – Powerless**

Kaoru sighed. It had been a nice morning. Kenshin had decided they should take a walk together, and they spent all morning talking as they walked around town.

Kaoru had a feeling that he decided to invite her because he had something he wanted to tell her, but as for now, Kenshin didn't say a word about it.

These last days had been peaceful as never before and Kaoru felt glad. Enough of those stupid enemies along with their stupid revenges… Kenshin needed to rest and enjoy a normal life like he never did before, and she was happy that he was succeeding.

As they passed the river, a memory filled her mind. The moment they came back to the dojo, after Shishio's fight, in that same spot she told him that for her he was a part of her family, and the dojo was his house. _I am home. – _she remembered his response with a smile.

Apparently he was remembering the same moment, because he stop walking and turned to her.

:::::::::

**Kenshin thoughts**

_I don't know how I can thank her for all the things she did for me…. I am a brand new person at her side. Kaoru made me believe that I can leave my past behind and move on with my life… Her determination, strength and care, made me love her in such a way… I had never felt this for anyone else… Sometimes I find myself thinking how amazing it could have been… if I just met her before… before of all the blood spilling and killing… She would probably change all my life… and then, I wouldn't have anything to feel regretful for… I need to tell her… Kaoru-dono needs to know how I feel about her… she deserves to know…_

::::::::::::.

"I just wished this peace to stay…" – she said out of the blue – "Our family seems to be so happy… Yahiko is growing strong, Sanosuke seems to be finding his own way in this new job, and as for you Kenshin…I think that no one else his coming for revenge anymore Kenshin…" – she smiled at the idea.

Kenshin came close to her: "I am getting used to this piece."

She nod: "Things will stay the same, you will see." – Kaoru bent and picked up a small flower from between the grass… "Finally my family is together forever…"

"It won't be like this forever Kaoru-dono." – he said hating himself for destroying the happiness on her face.

Her smile vanished: "What do you mean?"

He lowered his head: "Eventually people will move on with their lives, and maybe they will disappear from yours. They will always be your family. But they won't be here forever. At first it will hurt you, but that's the course of live, and there is nothing you can do to change it."

Her eyes were distant for a while. She knew he was saying the truth. It had already happened with Megumi, when she moved to other city. It maybe it was just a question of time until the other inhabitants of the dojo followed her example. But… was Kenshin talking about others or was he reffering at himself too? "I just wanted to be… be your side forever."- she said almost as a whisper. Her words would go unnoticed at anyone's ears but not to his. Noticing that she blushed: "I am sorry, but…" – she rushed beside him: "We have to get back to the dojo." – But Kenshin's hand holding her arm stopped her. His hand lowered to her wrist and then to her hand, but Kaoru didn't turned her face to him, she was too embarrassed. "I will never leave you alone." If he was asking for a moment to say his feelings out loud, this was it, her small indiscretion was everything he needed to tell her how much he cared. His left hand reached her faced and Kaoru turned slowly following his hand. "You are my only family Kaoru." – It was the first time he didn't used the honorific to refer to her. Kenshin used both of his hands to hold her face: "Even if everyone else goes away … making their own paths." – his eyes focused on her deep blue ones: "I'll stay by your side because you are my path."

Kaoru couldn't believe on what she was hearing. She longed to hear this words for so many years… "Kenshin…" – her voice faltered with emotion. This seemed a dream: "Do you promise to stay forever?"

He nod. "I do." – he placed a strand of her hair behind her ear: "I love you Kaoru." – he ahd imagined that conversation on his mind over and over again, but when words became real, everything seemed different.

Her eyes filled with tears of joy: "Do you?" – it was everything so good that Kaoru was doubting that it could be real.

He smiled: "Yes Kaoru… I love you." – his face got close to hers: "Like I never loved anyone else before." – he said before kissing her tenderly.

Kissing her lips had a surprising effect on him. That touch was so unique so divine that he just didn't wanted to stop. He wanted to kiss those lips eternally. Only when Kaoru stepped back gasping for air he noticed how long that kiss was. "I am sorry."

She took a while to get her together: "No…" – her hand touched his chest: "I am the one who asks for sorry… " – and then she blushed even more (if that was possible) "It's lack of practice, I think."

Kenshin laughed soundly but he didn't wanted her to think he was playing with her innocence. So, he grabbed her by the waist and embrace her tightly. "I think I can take care of that." – he said, kissing her again. Kaoru's hands were around his neck enjoying this new "intimacy" between them. This was a dream…No, this was way better than any dream she had ever had.

When their lips split from each other, Kenshin caressed her face and asked: "Lets go home, and tell our friends the news."

Kaoru's eyebrow lifted: "The news?" – she wasn't going to tell Sano and Yahiko that they kissed, that was private… not something to be shared.

"Oh… I forgot." – his hand flew to his head. _How could I forgot this? How could I forgt the ring at home? _"I… I have something for you at home. Which I was suppose to bring with me today, but I forgot." – Kaoru blinked. He was acting weird. Kenshin looked around and then he kneeled and plucked a small red flower from the grass. Then he walked back to her: "I will have to improvise."

Kaoru blinked again as Kenshin looked at the flower and then to her again: "Kamyia Kaoru, do you accept to marry this humble wanderer?"

Kaoru petrified. Marry? She had to pinch herself to prove her ears weren't fooling her. This was being so good…They just kissed for the first time, and now he was proposing to her?

Facing her silence Kenshin wandered if he had rushed things: "Kaoru… I am sorry… Do you think I am acting too forward?" – he asked afraid of the answer.

She blinked lots of times before answering: "Soon?" – she took the flower from his hands and shook her head: "No…. I mean… Yes." – she was still in shock with all this news.

Kenshin tried to hide the pain of rejection: "You're right… This was too much for one day."

She lifted her eyebrow and both her hands flew to her hips in a defiant position: "You ask me to marry and now your saying it is too soon?"

Kenshin swallowed hard: "No… You said that not me." He said confused.

"No! You got it all wrong! I said: No It wasn't soon! And I also said: Yes! I accept to marry you!"

"Really?" – her answer made his eyes glint with hope. She approached him and placed her arms around his neck again: "I love you Kenshin."

As he holds her close, Kenshin inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine that her hair had. Finally he was going to know how it felt to leave in piece…

Kaoru, with her head against his chest, could hear his heart beat. He was calm. But… was he smilling? Doubt filled her heart. Of course Kenshin smiled like any other people, it was just, when he did it, there was always a shadow behind that smile. A shadow that showed that he had never forget the misery his past caused him. Was she able to make him smile genuinely?

This was fascinating. For years Kenshin hide his feelings for her just for her protection. He watched cook, train, sleep… and there were times when he just desired to grab her, kiss her, lay her on the floor, take her clothes and…And All stopped there, because that was the moment he walked away before the thoughts would led him to act. But now, that they were so close like this, his thoughts gained strength and he was afraid he didn't had enough power to resist anymore. "We have to set a date for the wedding." – he said kissing her head.

She looked up: "Yes. Do you have any specific date in mind? You know it takes a while to organize everything for the ceremony… Do you plan to marry how long after Misao and Aoshi?"

"But it's still a month for their wedding!" – Kenshin's tone showed discontentment thinking about the waiting. Kaoru stepped back: "You want to marry before them?" – she asked suspiciously. Kenshin sighed and his hands rubbed her arms: "I am tired of waiting." – he answered.

"Waiting?" – Kaoru was now more suspicious than ever – "What do you mean?"

He bit his lip, his words would reveal more than what he wanted: "I am sorry, you're right… Less than a month it's a small period of time to organize the wedding the invitations… And the wedding dress… I am anxious to see you in your wedding dress."

"Kenshin what did you mean when you said that you were tired of waiting?" – she insisted knowing he trying to avoid the subject.

He sighed in exasperation: "If I tell you, You will think bad things about me."

"If you're going to be my husband, you have to tell me everything." – Kaoru shook her head: "And, Kenshin, I know you! You're the kindest person in the world… Why would I think badly of you?"

Kenshin knew her, and she was stubborn enough not to walk home, if he dind't tell her what she wanted to hear: "During all this time… sometimes, it was difficult to me to behave when I was by your side."

"Behave? I am not understanding."

He sighed in desperation trying to find a "decent" way to put things: "For example…" – he started: "Sometimes when I saw you after your bath, when you are wearing that white robe… and you know… it gets a little transparent when you dress it when your body is still wet."

Kaoru blushed and Kenshin added as fast as he could: "Don't think bad of me!"

"I never noticed it gets transparent…"- she said embarrassed.

_Mainly when the water drops from your hair wet the chest area…"_Or when you were treating some of my wounds… the touch of your hands on my body… It made me want more…_"_

Kaoru wasn't getting the point: "More?"

"Yes, I wanted your touch, I longed for it, so much that it was difficult for me to control this impulses…"Kenshin felt awkward explaining this to her, but, she was innocent in what comes to this subjects and he knew she was still far from the truth yet: "Kaoru, sometimes I wanted to treat you like my wife, ok? I desire you!"

"Oh!" – her hand flew to her mouth in realization. She wanted to laugh at the explanations he had to gave her… "I am sorry, I wasn't understanding."

Kenshin laughed too leaving feelings like embarrassment behind: "I has been a hard fight." – then he punched his chest proudly: "But until now, I was well succeeded." – he looked at her intently: "But now, it's going to become more and more difficult, and I would never forgive myself If I did something disrespectful to you."

Kaoru felt flattered with his words. It was good to know she wasn't the only one with that kind of thoughs on her mind. Yes, she did think of him that way too, but Kenshin was always so straitlaced that she never realized he could felt the same way around her. "Do you think you can wait two weeks?"

He nod: "Yes… Is it enough time for you to arrange things?"

"Just need to tell Megumi and Misao because they have to make arrangements for the ride." – she said.

"Are you sure you don't mind that everything is happening so fast?" – he insisted knowing that as a woman some details would be important to her.

Kaoru took a deep breath and then she looked at him in the eye: "Good things are always welcome… The faster they come… The better."

Once again he grabbed on his arms and kissed her lips slowly. Two weeks from now, she was going to become Miss Himura Kaoru. The dojo would throw a party like never before. As soon as his lips split he leaned his head on hers and said: "This are going to be the two longest weeks of my life, Kaoru."

:::::::::::

Two people stopped in front of the dojo's gates. For one of them that place was familiar. He had been there before. But for the other it was the first time there.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" – he asked the woman on his side. Time had passed and she was older, but not less beautiful. To him, she would always be the most beautifull woman in the world.

Her small lips opened to answer: "I need to."

::::::::::

Whoever watched pass by, him with his arm around her shoulders, laughing with contentment would immediately notice the feelings that surrounded them.

"I don't believe that you used to tell that to your father!" – he said

"I just wanted to piss him off." She confessed – "I knew he always wanted to have another child. A boy. He was worried about the future of the dojo. And for him, the only way to assure that, was to marry me with someone that would take care of the Kamyia style and maintain the school working. But, as I didn't wanted anyone to take care of me, I used to say I would never marry anyone and I would never ever have kids!"

Kenshin tried to picture a small version of Kaoru arguing with her father. But then a doubt came to his mind: "Do you still think that way?"

Kaoru stopped walking: "No Kenshin." – she shook her head and smiled – "I would love to have a child with you."

The samurai felt invaded by an enormous happiness hearing her sincere answer. A child, a mix of both of them…. He never thought of that before because life never gave him that opportunity… but now… Everything seemed different.

"Sorry!" – a young man wearing strange glasses approached: "Do you mind If I take a picture of you two?"

"Picture?" – Kaoru remembered the only picture she had of her and her friends. It was taken after their first trip on a train. "But… we don't have money."

The young man smiled: "I didn't asked for money." – he showed the machine on his hand: "You see… I am learning to work with this new machines, so I ask people to be my "guinea pigs"… The pictures are for free of course."

Kaoru glanced at Kenshin: "If that's so, go ahead!" – He end up saying.

He asked them to hold hands and smile, and after a few seconds… voilá! At first Kaoru thought it was a joke. No picture could be that fast. Only when the photographer handed her the photo she believed. "It's awesome." – she said.

"Thanks." – he scratch the back of his head – "It's far from being professional… but I am still learning."

"I think you'll have a great future as a photographer." – Kenshin conclude staring at the picture on Kaoru's hands.

"The models helped."- he said. Then, he picked up all the equipment and told them where they could find him if they wanted more photos. Kenshin and Kaoru thanked and start walking to the dojo again.

"It was a Nice boy…" – she said looking again at the picture.

"Humm..Humm." – Kenshin answered.

"Kenshin, What do you have for me at home?" – she asked reminding the conversation they were having before his proposal.

He made a mysterious look: "It's a Surprise."

She tried to make him talk, but, as they were already on the dojo, and Yahiko was outside she decided it was better to behave.

As soon as her student saw them he started running towards them.

"What's happening?" – Kenshin noticed immediately, by the look on Yahiko's eyes, that something was wrong.

He stared at Kenshin and then to Kaoru. He wanted to say something, but at the same time he knew if did it so, he would destroy Kaoru's happiness. "There's a person on the dojo."

"Let's go." – Kenshin assumed it was another enemy and rushed to the dojo.

_Seems like we assume that peace had come, just a little to soon._

As soon as he walked inside the dojo he petrified. I couldn't be. Was he having a vision? It was impossible. The woman in front of him smiled. What was that? Some kind of sick joke?

Still unsure if it was a hallucination or reality, Kenshin opened his mouth to pronounce the name of the person he was seeing. The woman he thought dead ten years ago:

"Tomoe?!"

:::

**So, what do you think?**

**Hope to hear it from you!**

**Till next chapter!**

**Kisses**


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Sorry for this delay... I was hoping to finish this fic in portuguese before I start posting it in English but... things got complicated and I decided to do all backwards.

I am going to start this chapter with the song that inspired me to write the story in the first place.

Hope you like it.

**_Powerless _**

**_(Linkin Park - Living Things)_**

_You hid tour skeletons when I had shown you mine_  
><em>You woke the devil that I thought you'd left behind<em>  
><em>I saw the evidence<em>, the _crimson soaking through_  
><em>Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose<em>

_And you held it all but you were careless to let it fall_  
><em>You held it all and I was by your side, powerless<em>

_I watched you fall apart and chased you to the end._  
><em>I'm left with emptiness that words cannot defend<em>  
><em>You'll never know what I became because of you<em>  
><em>Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose<em>

_And you held it all but you were careless to let it fall_  
><em>You held it all and I was by your side, <em>

_Powerless_

**Chapter 2 - Powerless**

Kenshin stopped breathing as he saw her.

What was that? Was she a ghost that came from his past to haunt him again? His mind knew who she was, but he struggled to pronounce her name: "To... Tomoe?"

The woman stepped forward and replied: "Anata."

Watching the scenario in front of her Kaoru felt like a knife was being craved into her heart in-numerous times. She couldn't see Kenshin's facial expression.

_Is he happy?_ – she wondered.

Kenshin petrified as Tomoe hugged him. Instinctively he glanced at Enishi hoping to get an answer but he just turned his face to the other side, obviously displeased with the scene.

Sano got closer to Kaoru and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him as if she was on a trance; her face was so pale that she looked like she was going to crash at any moment. She blinked her eyes several times until she realized it wasn't a nightmare. This was real.

"Kenshin?" - Tomoe stepped back to look at him - "You don't seem pleased to see me..."

Kenshin swallowed hard... His throat was totally dry: "How did you..."

"I am going to prepare some tea..." - Kaoru took this chance to leave to the kitchen, at least there she could be alone.

Kenshin heart ached as he saw her passing by him. Should he go after her? Although he didn't understand what was happening there He was sure she was suffering even more than him... But... he needed to be aware of what happened.

"Lets seat and talk..." - he moved to the living room with the others, trying to avoid Tomoe's constant look.

::::::::::::::::

Kaoru places the water into the teapot and tries to understand what was happening. _I am not going to cry... I am not going to cry._

The entire situation passed through her mind: Tomoe was alive... All these years that Kenshin mourned her death, and the guilty he felt for what he did... after all she was alive. How could that be?

She looked at the teapot in the fire and felt that it was her chest that was burning instead of the water.

_Was this morning an illusion?_ Was just her imagination or did he said he loved her? Was it a dream? The moment his lips touched hers? Or when He asked her if she wanted to have kids? Was that an illusion too?

_You are my only family Kaoru... Even if the others leave... I will stay with you._

And now, how did he plan to fulfill his promises?

She took a deep breath and stared at her hands for a while... they were shivering and she didn't even notice that.

What if he left?

What if he felt so guilty about what he did to Tomoe and dediced the only way to emend his mistake was to go with her?

And worst than that: What if he still in love with her?

_Do you... still love her?_

Kaoru thought about Tomoe for a while... Even if she was older than her, and even older than Kenshin, she was still very beautiful and elegant... probably she knew how to cook well and would be a lovely wife... The perfect Japanese model of a woman and wife...

Kaoru felt small and insignificant facing those characteristics... Tomoe was everything she wasn't.

_But Kenshin proposed to me... he said he loved me..._

Weak...her hopes of her rurouni being attached to this new life were weak... but there was hope anyway.

_Maybe..._

Placing the cups of tea on the tray, Kaoru took a deep breath decided to face the visitants on the living room with her head high.

::::

There was silence in the room. No one said a word.

Kenshin couldn't explain what he felt.

He looked at his "came from death" wife:There was no doubt that years had passed through her too, her face was still beautiful but there was a touch of suffer on every wrinkle.

This situation was totally uncomfortable: First: Tomoe was hoping for him to show signs of his love for her, and he just couldn't... Second: He had just proposed to Kaoru and shared one of the most beautiful days of his life…

But there was the other side: Relief.

He was relieved that he wasn't blamed of her death... At least it was one less sin on his black list.

He signed as he heard Kaoru's footsteps. It was awkward to have Kaoru and Tomoe in the same room.

As she sat between Sano and Yahiko, he turned to Tomoe: "Please tell us everything."

::

Enishi stared at the red-haired samurai:

The way he looked at his sister was different from ten years ago. The subtle smile that he had when talked to her, had disappeared. Even the way he referred to her was different... distant...Kenshin was focused in understand how she could be alive, and not in sharing happiness to acknowledge that.

So different from the man who appeared in his Island demanding to see Kaoru.

Memories filled Ensihi's mind:

_They were on that beach as he took a step forward to face the samurai._

_Yahiko placed himself between them and glaring at him he said: "You don't care, do you?" - the boy was exhausted after fighting with Heinshin bodyguards, but even so he found strengths to face him: "Where is Kaoru?" - he glared at him: "And don't you dare say she's no longer of this world... if you do, I will kill you for Kenshin who has vowed to never kill!"_

_As Kaoru appeared from the woods Enishi observed Kenshin's expression. It was relief and joy. His face was illuminated by a smile as he got up and spoke directly to her:_

_"Kaoru dono, please wait there. Soon is everything is going to be fine."_

_:::::::::::::::::::::_

Enishi opened his eyes returning to the reality.

Battousai's reaction towards his sister was totally the opposite of the one he had when he saw Kaoru.

It was obvious. He didn't love her.

Totally unaware of her brother's thoughts, Tomoe started talking:

"When your sword wounded my body, I was like... dead... Maybe the pain was so impossible to hold on that my body found a way to shut down to survive. So both, you and my brother thought that I was dead. The only thing I remember is to wake up and see and old woman taking care of me."

"But you had a funeral, a grave, a stone with your name!" - Kenshin said unbelieving. All the pain he went trough... The regret... The travelling to Tokyo just to stand in front of her grave asking for forgiveness... It was all a lie.

"I only knew that months later." - she didn't raise her voice to him, even when she was trying to defend herself - "Tha told woman... she, explained to me that I was left in the morgue as dead, but she realized that I was breathing, so, she took care of me, and thanks to her medicine and care, the only memory I have of my dead is the scar your sword left me." – She took one hand to her chest and Kenshin lowered his eyes. Even if she was alive he had caused her so much pain…he swallowed hard: "And why didn't you search for me? Or for your brother?"

Once again she remained calm: "After the end of Tokugawa you disappeared like a ghost." - she said: "As well as my brother. So, with no one else to go to, I decided to show my gratitude to that woman, by staying with her, since she had no family too."

"And why did you decided to appear now?" - Kenshin asked exhausted of all the discussion.

Tomoe shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't hoping for him to ask that, she thought Kenshin would be happy to see her: "Because she died... And I came to know that my brother was in jail, in the city that I lived... Otsu, so I went to him."

"Weren't you in jail, here in Kyoto?" - Kaoru spoke for the first time..

"I ran away in the first night." - he said - "Then I let myself be caught." - he glanced at Tomoe and then to Kaoru again: "When she came to me... I couldn't believe that this was true. I thought it was a dream, one that I should enjoy while it lasted, it was only when she asked to see you that I realized this was real... It wasn't a good dream..." - he stared directly at Kenshin - "Otherwise you wouldn't be in it!"

Even after knowing that his sister was alive, Enishi hated Kenshin as much as before: "I want to keep things clear: I don't agree with this. You are only going to harm her more." - Enishi turned his attention to Kaoru waiting for her to reply in Kenshin's favor as she always did, but no word came from her mouth.

Tomoe placed her hand on her brother's shoulder: "Kenshin I want my life back. I want to reattached it from where it stopped. I think we deserve to be happy."

Kenshin wasn't able to look her in the eye anymore, secretly wishing all of this to be a nightmare: "Tomoe, ten years had passed."

Kaoru sighed, they were going to talk about their past together, things only they knew, and she couldn't stand it.

The way Tomoe's actions screamed how much she was still in love with Kenshin made Kaoru sick...

She got up leaving everyone staring at her.

Kenshin hope for her to say something, something that helped him, but he knew it wasn't her decision.

"I think you two should talk, alone. After all... it is a private matter.." - she didn't need to signal, Sanosuke and Yahiko did the same, they both were happy to follow her out of there. That was too much for them too.

After some reluctance Enishi end up following them too.

::

Sano fastened his step to catch Kaoru.

"Jo-chan wait!" - but she didn't stopped, so he was forced to run to reach her.

"Let me go Sano, I can't stand being here, so please, don't stop me." - he looked at his friend: "I am not going to stop you, I am just going with you because, I can't stand this neither."

Once out of the dojo, Kaoru walked and walked and walked... Then, suddenly she stopped. Sano stared at her. He knew sooner or later she was going to burst.

First she clenched her fists, then, shook her head furiously and finally she fell on her knees, it was then when Sano approached her and forced her to raise: "Come here." - he hugged while she was crying. He could see it wasn't just sadness in her tears; they were also filled with anger. Why was life so cruel to her? "He... he ask me..." Sano thought she was choking at first, but then he understood she was trying to tell him something: "Take it easy Jo, he is going to make the right decision." But she continued: "To marry me today_."_

He put the two sentences together and at first he thought he had heard it wrong: "Come again?"

Kaoru took a deep breath and answered:"He asked me to marry him..."

A smile grew on Sano's mouth: "Really?" - he placed his hands on her shoulders - "See? Kenshin likes you. He may be confused, because it's a stupid awkward situation, but.. I am sure that..."

"She is his wife Sano!" - Kaoru pushed him away - "I am just the person that gave him a home." - Kaoru turned her back on him, but he didn't give up.

"Ei!Ei!" - he grabbed her arm and shook her: "He likes you and you know that!" he raised his voice to her because he already knew what she was going to do to herself and he didn't liked it: "Don't you dare to lower yourself because of that woman! Even if he makes the mistake of choosing to go with her... don't do that to yourself... If it wasn't for you... he was nothing but a wanderer... Yahiko was nothing but a thief... and I... I would be... out there living a life of crime."

She wasn't expecting Sanosuke to react like that, but, Kaoru knew he was just trying to help: "If he goes away..." - she gave up on being strong and reached for her friend's comfort placing her head on his chest: "I don't have the right to.."

"Shhh... I am sure is not going to do that." - he supported his chin on the top of her head. He knew what it meant to love someone... And he also knew what it meant to be left alone. But if that happened to Kaoru... he was sure she wasn't capable of dealing with that...

::::

:::

"You don't need to stay here watching, I am not going to blow anything." - Enishi said staring at the boy who looked at him as if he was a bomb ready to explode.

"I don't trust you!" - it was an honest answer and it made Enishi laugh: "Yeah... I wouldn't trust myself too, if I was you."

Yahiko shout: "We are not going to let you harm her again!"

"To whom? To Kaoru?" - he crossed his arms behind his neck: "Gezzzz... I don't understand why do you think such things of me..." - he mocked.

He was about to continue with his mockery, but Yahiko's expression changed... "You wouldn't let anyone hurt your sister, would you? To me, Kaoru is like a sister! So don't you dare play with her safety, or you're going to face me!"

Yahiko's attitude made Enishi laugh... that boy reminded him of himself, years ago... One bad comment about his sister would make him turn into a tiger ready to defend what was his...

"I am not going to hurt her... It was never my intention." - he got up, still dizzy of how much that boy reminded him of himself: "I just wanted to be a fly to hear their conversation."

The change on Enishi's tone made Yahiko confused: Was Enishi acting like a normal person?

Then the tall white-haired man stared back at him with a curious expression: "Did they got married?"

"Uh?" - the boy raised his eyebrow, and Enishi sighed desperately:" Kaoru and Battousai! Did they got married?"

_"_Oh... No... they didn't!"

Enishi had planned to continue his interrogation but as he heard the gate opening and realized Kaoru was back he decided it was better to wait for another opportunity. But he took the chance to take a good look at her. He could see she was devastated, and he was counting on that to stop Himura from accepting his sister's decision...

On the other side Kaoru hoped the conversation to be over by now, since almost an hour had passed, but, if they were still in there, it only meant one thing. Kenshin was leaving... for sure. She was ready to make her way to the kitchen when she heard the door slide and the two people on the inside came out.

Tomoe looked at Enishi and smiled.

Kaoru swallowed hard.

If Tomoe was happy that meant...

"Yahiko, you sleep on my room tonight, so that Tomoe-san may sleep in yours." - then she turned her back on them. She knew what she had to do... she couldn't fall apart there. "Kaoru-san-." She heard Tomoe saying her name for the first time, and all the hairs on her body became electric.

The woman walked towards her: "Maybe we could share the same room. I would like to know you more.." - she asked with a smile.

For a while both Enishi and Kenshin was afraid of Kaoru's reaction.

Her jaw almost fell off. Why in the world was she asking her that? No... it was too much..."I am sorry Tomoe-san, but I have a friend that is requiring my attention... she asked me if I could stay in her place to help her solve some problems." - she lied trying to be polite.

"That's a shame." – Tomoe'S reply seemed sincere. She wasn't aware of what happened between her and Kenshin, so off course she had no reason to hate her.

Kaoru tried to smile but failed: "Good bye." - she went to her room and took some personal things of the drawers. She needed to be away, to disappear… Suddenly her own dojo seemed a hostile place to be.

I am not going to stay here and see him leave with her... It would be... too painful..

But then something came to her mind.

The farewell.

Wouldn't It be worst if they didn't say goodbye? She was never going to see him again, wouldn't hurt more not be able to say goodbye to him? Would she be able to close that chapter of her live without telling him goodbye?

He had done the same for her once...

So, she decided... she was going to act the same way...

I am going to say goodbye to Kenshin and Kenshin alone.

But... How was she going to do it? She wasn't going to his room... that would be uncomfortable... After what happened, it was as if partially he had become strange to her... Not hers anymore... not her Kenshin._.._

__No. I am going to dojo, to the training hall. He is going to feel my presence. If he wants to say something to me Kenshinwill come. If he doesn't... then, it's up to him.__

__::::::::::::::__

Kaoru waited until everyone was sleeping to slide the door open. She walked slowly to the training hall... she could see the plates with the names of the inhabitants of the dojo from far. Soon one plate was going to disappear. It was sad, almost ridiculous but she had to conform herself.

Her thoughts froze when she felt someone behind her.

It was him.

It was a relief to know he wanted to talk to her too, but at the same time it was embarrassing... because she forgot whatever words she had on her mind.

"I know how unfair this is to you." - she heard him saying but she didn't turn to see him. Words seemed empty... because nothing he would say or do would make her feel better.

Kenshin felt like a monster because of what he was doing to her... He wished things to be different... If at least he had the guts to tell her his feeling long ago, they would be married and he wouldn't feel forced to go with Tomoe anymore. He wouldn't be divided between his duty and his heart.

"It is surreal... I still can't believe that." - He got close to her and she turned. It was hard to control the will to cry, butKaoru didn't wanted his last memory of her to be one in which she was crying.

It was dark but she could see how tired his eyes were, and for the time since they knew each other Kenshin was caughtspeechless... he didn't knew what to say. On the other hand, Kaoru saw everything happening in front of her, but there was nothing she could do to change things.

Both of them were powerless...

Both were unable to change this... plans life arranged them...

They were too insignificant to make a difference.

Facing his silence Kaoru decided to take the first and the last step: "I can't blame you for the decision you made." - She stared deep at his violet eyes... the ones she wasn't going to see anymore: "After all, she is your wife." - telling that out loud hurt her more than what she thought, mainly because she knew Tomoe was occupying the place Kaoru once believed to be hers.. she felt like a huge part of her soul was being stolen from her.

She took a deep breath. Courage was needed to say those last words: "All this time we share... was wonderful Kenshin."

The red-haired man swallowed hard.

That woman... the woman he had fallen in love with... he thought he was going to see her cry... that he would had the chance to hold her and offer her some comfort... but she was doing something contrary to her personality... Kaoru was dissembling feelings...

"I hope you to be happy." - she said.

He tried to touch her face but she took a step back: "Thank you for everything mister wanderer." - she gave a small smile and hold the his hand for a while: "Good-bye Kenshin." - she let go of him and left.

He stood there. Petrified. His hand was still as if she was holding it... as if she was still there.

He looked around… This time she was the one who left him behind…

All of that was making him sick.

Sick of suffering.

::::::::

It wasn't worth to try... Kenshin knew that night he wouldn't be able to sleep.

He was on his room staring at his hands... and he could swear the hand she hold still had her scent... or was he getting mad?

He got up and left the room. The roster was about to sing and that meant everybody was about to wake, and Kenshinneeded some more time of peace... To gather some memories... Yes, he needed good memories of the place he was going to leave behind... memories would be his fuel to hold on to this strange new life that was chosen to him.

As he passed the living room he remembered the party they gave when Sano was about to leave. The one when Kaorugot drunk and revealed some personal details...

Then, on the dojo, he remembered the day he helped her to get rid of Gohei.

_"You can stay here."_ - she said giving her back on him.

_"Even after knowing all the truth about my past? Who I was? Someone like me would only bring you troubles"_- he replied knowing that it was the truth but wishing that it wasn't because he felt a connection to that girl, one that he didn't knew how to explain. Then, her answer caught him by surprise.

_"I am not talking about Battousai... I want the wanderer to stay."_ - She meant that. Even if she wasn't looking at him, he knew she meant what she was saying. When she heard the door sliding she thought he was gone and sighed.

_"I've wandered for too long."_

She turned to him:"_You're staying!"_

"_I can help you in the kitchen._" - he stepped to her: _"Yes, you're far better cooker than me._" - she gave a step forward to him: "_And I can help you in the domestic chores too."_ - he gave another step forward: "_Yes! But if you try to sneak on the bathroom when I am on the inside I will punch you in the face_!" - and she stretched her hand.

Kenshin found himself on floor after being punched by her: "_ORORORORORO!"_

_"I AM SORRY! i THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DODGE!"_

A smile appeared on his lips as memories filled him.

Everything there was perfect...

No...

She made everything there seem perfect.

::::::::::::

It was all ready for them to leave. Kenshin was hoping to see Kaoru one last time... But she vanished. And since Enishiwasn't there too, he became worried. "Maybe we should go look for her." But Sano stopped him: "You Can't do that."

"But she can be in dangerous!" he tried to argue but Sano stood firm: "She is not. I promise." Kenshin understood everything. Sano knew where she was, and as he couldn't understand his decision he choose to protect Kaoru. And protect her meant keeping her away from him.

Tomoe got off the room and asked: "Is Kaoru-san back?" she walked towards them.

"She is not coming." - Yahiko answered. "She stood to help Tae... she was having some troubles at the restaurant."

"It's a shame..." she looked at Kaoru's room: "I wished I could have a chance to thank her for what she did for you... and to say goodbye." - then she looked at Kenshin: "Maybe we could go to the restaurant..." But Kenshin didn't let her finish it: "Let's go to Otsu." he said in a harsh tone.

Then he placed his hands inside of his clothes and started walking: "Goodbye."

Both of his friends exchanged looks since he had never used that tone to talk to a woman before.

Tomoe made a small bow and followed him a few steps behind.

:::::::::

Kaoru looked through the window to the people at the streets, wondering if someone there understood the mess her heart was.

Are they gone by now?

A noise distracted her from her thoughts and she focused her attention to the door.

"You can't go inside!" - she heard Tae yelling.

And as she walked to the door, it opened furiously.

"You're giving up so easily!"

She stared at the man in front of her. For someone who just got out of jail he was dressing to well... Black elegant clothes, gold cufflinks, the usual earring on the right ear, and this time his glasses were on his left hand. "Let it be Tae... I take it from here, thank you."

The girl asked uncertain: "Are you sure?"

When Kaoru nod she just shook her head and glared at Enishi: "Rude." - Then she made her way to the restaurant.

Kaoru closed the door and as he seemed to be expecting an explanation she end up saying: "It's not my decision to take!"~

He grabbed her arm: "Crying it's not useful, don't you see? You have to act!"

She spun her arm and released herself from his hold: "I've told you! It's not my decision!" - she yelled. "She is his wife! If he took her back that means that he likes her!" - All the anger she was keeping on the inside was making her would regret of appearing on that moment. "If you didn't wanted this, why did you brought her here? Why didn't you lie? Why not tell her that Kenshin was dead?" she was feeling garbage with all that, how could he blame her!

Enishi was caught off guard with her reaction.

Deep down he knew she was right. And even if he felt betrayed when his sister asked about Battousai, he wasn't able to lie to her...

Even though he didn't gave up: "The woman I met a year ago was much more of a fighter than the one I am looking at now!"

Kaoru turned his back on him: "That woman died yesterday."

That's not what he wanted to hear from her…

Her eyes were so distant that Enishi couldn't help to wonder if she would be strong enough not to attempt some foolishness against herself...

But why did he care?

He walked to her side and tried to understand the changes.

She seemed so different from the woman he took to the Island... The one who was always fighting against him, arguing… Now, she was… broken, As if there was no more... spirit inside of her.

There was circles around her eyes... and she didn't mutter a word for so long, that for a while he thought that no one but him was there.

He also hated the memories that this situation brought, memories of his sister and how she reacted to Akira's dead...

First she closed herself in her room for days... Tomoe felt so miserable that she did tried to kill herself once... Then she decided to take revenge and end up dead... well not dead, but...

Looking at Kaoru he couldn't avoid to wonder: W_hat is going to happen now?_

_Are you going to act like her?_

_Is your smile going to disappear too?_

_But, then again: Why do I care?_

Driven by some irrational thought he grabbed her arms and made her look at him.

Kaoru was about to argue against the strength he was using to hold her arms but as she stared deep into his eyes she saw something she couldn't understand, but it wasn't hate... Well, Enishi never hated her, but the way he looked at her was as if he was …worried about her..!?

"Don't do anything stupid!" - he said to her as a warning.

Kaoru stared strangely back at him, but Enishi didn't change or softened his expression. Then, after a while he released her and went to the door, but before leaving he looked at her one last time: "I will be watching you."

And he left as suddenly as he appeared.

:::


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi there!**

**First of all I wanted to thank you: kenkaofan,kokoronagomu, HimuraKaoru and teshichan, for reviewing.**

**Chapter 2 was really sad for both of them: Kaoru and Kenshin. This chapter is lighter and shows a litlle how things are going to be from this moment on...**

**I am on vacations, so I am trying to update all of my stories... Let's see If I can do it.**

**Hope you like the chapter.**

**::**

**Chapter 3 – Lapse**

Yahiko's eyes travel behind the arena, to the people who are there to support him. It is good to know that they made efforts to be there just to watch him, but it was also a great responsibility. _What I fail?_

"Yahiko Focus!" His instructor voice wakes him. He knows… She wants him to focus on his opponent and not in the crowd. His last challenger. "He is taller and older than you." – If Yahiko didn't knew her well enough he would think she was destroying his trust, but he was sure that after that warn, Kaoru would say something that would make him feel better: "But you're smarter and that makes you stronger than him." – he nods.

After Kenshin's departure Kaoru focused almost totally on their trainings. She committed herself to make him a better fighter: Faster, agile and stronger. And now… here they are… At the final of the national championship of kendo.

He stares at the woman in front of him. His sensei. She had already fulfilled her duty. Although the mockeries of the other contestants, mostly because she was the only woman competing, Kaoru shut them up as she defeated each opponent on her way. And even after that, she wasn't celebrating. She was there supporting him, waiting for him to win so that they could rejoice together.

All other dojo were well-known in that league, they had titles and experience in championships like that. Kamyia dojo seemed to be fallen there with a parachute, since no one had heard of them before. At first they were taken as the underdogs, but now… well now, they were the crowd's favorit.

"Yahiko-chaaaaann!" – Tsubame's voice wakes him up again , as he feels his heart beating faster… _How many times do I have to tell her not to call me that!?_

Looking at each one of his friends Yahiko can't help to feel that someone is missing… Of course they didn't invite Kenshinto come to the contest. As much as Yahiko loved if Kenshin was there he couldn't forget that he choose a different path. A path apart from them.

As Sano raises his hand with his thumb up, wishing him luck, Yahiko swallows hard. Responsibility… But then he stares at the other person beside Sano: She was jumping more than anyone in the crowd, and yelling the dojo's name louder than anyone too. Are those things in her hands flags with Kamyia's name? Was Misao nuts?

No. He needed to forget all that.

One last combat and after that it was over. Just a little more to get the desired reward. Even if he loses, Yahiko knows he already has the most import prize of all: Respect.

He sees his opponent approaching the arena and adrenaline rushes through his body. _I have to win._

The boy he is facing, is two years older than him, and there is no change on his expression as he sees Yahiko. As last year's champion he feels comfortable with this situation. _I have to win for Kaoru. So that she could be proud of me._Yahiko watch as the judge approaches. The fight his about to begin. _I have to win to prove myself that I can do it. I worth it. _As the judge raises his hand both of them stay their marks. _For me and for the honor f the dojo which took me in… I am going to win._

As they hear the bell Yahiko raised his bokken and stared at his opponent in the eye. Suddenly he couldn't hear or see anything past the other boy in front of him. The noise, the crowd… everything disappeared.

::::

Kaoru tries to control her anxiety. She was more nervous now than in any one of her own fights. She trusted Yahiko. But Kaoru is apprehensive because She knows that if he loses it would be a huge blow in his self-esteem.

He had grown a lot in a short period, not only physically but mentally as well. For these last six months Yahiko would train with her all the mornings, and at the evening he worked at the restaurant to help Tae and Tsubame. He was without any doubt the closest thing she had of and younger brother and her successor too. After these moths of intense training, Kaoru was sure he was able to succeed her in taking care of the Kamyia style.

Kaoru proudly watches as her student evades his opponent attacks. He doesn't spends all his energy attacking, at the contrary, he just dodges and waits for the right opportunity to strike right to victory. Just as she told him too.

The boy from Zoku-dojo, gets frustrated as none of his blows hit Yahiko. And then, he tries to swing his sword to Yahiko's legs.

_It is now! _Both Yahiko and Kaoru think.

Without realizing it was done. As Yahiko's bokken hit his opponent shoulder hard, he fell, no longer able to stand using his right arm. Once again the judge approaches, and after a quick examination on the boy's shoulder he raises Yahiko's arm, signaling him as the winner.

Yahiko stares at his instructor: "Did I won?"

Kaoru had to fight to control tears of joy from falling. She was so happy. They made it... Kamyia Dojo won the first two titles of its history.

Away from the euphoria of the moment, a man wearing black glasses raised from the crowd with a grin on his face: "Wait until you know the news… Battousai."

:::

**One week after the contest**

"Do you know how many applications we received just this week? More than twenty!" – Yahiko rejoices looking at the papers with the students names. Kaoru smiles knowing that means that she would finally be able to make some repairs on the dojo.

"It means that now we have money to pay for someone to cook for us!" – Sano with his usual fish bone on the mouth exchange looks with Yahiko.

"Don't you ever think about it!" – Kaoru warned him immediately – "We have to repair the dojo and that includes thewhole you made on the wall in your fight with Saito. I am not going to receive new students if those kinds of things aren't fixed first."

Sano was about to complaint but he knew there was no point in that. She wouldn't listen because she knew she was right. And also because he knew Tae would always allow him to eat for free.

Yahiko glances at the suitcase Kaoru and Misao are filling with cloths. "How long?"

"Two weeks." – she signs wishing nothing important to be left in the dojo. Then she turns her full attention to him: "I am leaving my dojo in your hands." – Yahiko's eyebrow lifted. Was she serious? Wasn't she going to ask Tae to look over the dojo?

"I am entrusting you with my home." – she raised her finger to him as a warn :"But if when I come back everything isn't just way it was when I left, then… " But Yahiko didn't allows her to finish the sentence: "Don't worry, it will be as if you were never gone." _Sensei…_

Kaoru sighed: Two weeks away from home. Apart from going after Kenshin to the capital at the time of his fight withShishio, this would be was the first time she went to Tokyo.

Since the time she knew of the contest, Kaoru was always so focused that it was almost easy for her not to think about him, but now with no plans on the horizon she would have to make an effort to avoid thoughts that included a red-haired samurai. She needed to ignore him even in her thoughts. And she was sure Misao was going to be a great help.

::::::::.

Enishi smiles as he sees his sister house. It was good to be back. Since he found her they weren't together for a lot of time. If at least she hadn't decided to rush after her psychotic husband… the two of them would be together and she would live at his mansion where there were servants that would do anything for her. She wouldn't have to clean or cook…

Enishi would never accept things as they were, and he had a plan to change them.

He saw Kenshin working in the small garden but he passed by him without a single compliment. Seeing Tomoe on the inside his smile grows bigger. On the other side, Tomoe, even knowing that every time her brother come to visit her, things with Kenshin got even worst, she smiles back and hugs him. "I was missing you." – he says.

"Me too." – She kisses his right cheek and then looks back at his hands: "What is that?"

He places the bags and the packs on the kitchen table."Those are for you." – he says wishing to see even the tiniest sign of curiosity. "Please open." – he encourages her.

Dresses, ink, books… he really didn't hold himself back buying all that stuff to her. But as she was reaching the last gift Enishi's anxiety grew, he was sure she would love that last one more than all the others together.

"What is this?" – she took a good look at the last object in her hand, as if she was wondering what it was before unwrapping the paper around it. "Oh… you remembered it.."- as she said Enishi could almost swear she had tears on her eyes. "Of course I did." – it was a journal, one equal to the one she had when Akira died.

That had been the best gift of all. She stopped writing for a long time… maybe now it was time to start again.

In that moment Kenshin got in, some vegetables on his hands.

Enishi then decided it was time to put his plan to work. He gave the newspaper he had under his arm to his sister as he informed: "I heard Kamyia Dojo won a national contest of Kendo."

At the mention of that name Kenshin immediately turned his attention to Enishi.

Tomoe glanced at Kaoru and Yahiko at the photo and begins to read the new:

**_Unknown dojo becomes the main attraction of the national contest of Kendo!_**

_A woman and a child were the winners of the national contest of kendo, leading their dojo – Kamyia dojo, to get the first two titles of its history._

_Brush aside at first, because of their age and sex the two students of Kamyia defeated each and every one of their opponents, leaving the judges and the crowd in awe. Kogoro Katsura, former head of Inshinshishi told us:_

_I was surprised with the two members of the Kamyia dojo. It takes a lot of courage to face all these prominent names and Dojos that have been here for these last three days…. And it takes something even better than courage to beat them all. Miojin Yahiko shows a great spirit and valuable traces of character that will make him a reference to young man like him. And in what concerns to Miss Kamyia… well, she is a fascinating woman, her strength, beauty and moxie are stunning. A vivid description to Japanese woman for this new Meiji era. I think she will become an inspiration to lots of women in our country._

As Tomoe finished reading she gave Kenshin the newspaper. The samurai stared at photos and a wave of nostalgic took over him. Her face… the smile on her lips… her hair in a ponytail, her training clothes… as she were, and as he had always seen her.

For so long his eyes wanted to see her and it wasn't allowed. And although it was just a black and white photo, Kenshinfelt an indescribable happiness building inside. – But it was bittersweet.

"Kaoru-san is such a talented woman…." – Tomoe said removing her gifts from the top of the table. – "I just don't understand why she is not married yet…"

"Oh don't worry about that!" – Enishi knew exactly what to say: "Now the candidates will stay in line at the dojo gates." – he really wanted to annoy Kenshin, he knew he was affected by what he just heard – "Beautiful and rich… sounds like the perfect match." – Enishi was playing a game and Kenshin knew it. In other situation he would just ignore him, but today, with this news, it was becoming difficult. So, before saying something that he might regret, he left the kitchen.

"Kenshin is so awkward." Tomoe sighs as she sees him leave. "Doesn't seem the same person anymore." – then she stares at Enishi and he could see how miserable she felt: "He doesn't smile anymore."

_Neither do you… _Enishi thought. What that what she searched in Battousai? His smile? He felt things were all backwards: He was looking for his sister's smile, she, on the other hand was looking for her husband smile, and Battousai… well he didn't care what he was looking for… "Are you unhappy?"

Her eyes wandered around the place as she thought about an answer: "Not at all. It's just I… imagined a different life." – Deep down, sometimes, she felt Kenshin became resented with her reappearance. "I think he miss his friends." – she sat beside Enishi and rested her head on his shoulder.

"That's simple to solve?"

Tomoe raised an eyebrow: "How?"

"Let him stay with his friends for a while, meanwhile, you spent some time with your brother!" – he played: "Who also needs your attention."

She stood quiet for a while; her mind filled with questions: Should she allow Kenshin to go? Wouldn't be harder for him to move on with his new life if he kept hanging on his past? But… sometimes distance can be a good adviser. Maybe he needed to miss her… and he couldn't miss her if she was always around… "I am going to think about it, and I let you know tomorrow." – as she raised her eyes to look at him she sighed: "Your hair… it never came back to his true color…" she said.

"You shouldn't talk about that…" – he muttered pointing to her hair: "You're catching up on me."

"Do you stay for dinner?" – she got up and starts washing the vegetables Kenshin brought for dinner, almost sure about his brother answer. "No. But I come back tomorrow to know what you decided."

Then he kissed her forehead and left.

:::

Kenshin was on the outside enjoying the breeze. The news he just had about the Dojo made him feel anxious.

What was happening to him?

When he worked as a samurai he desired the end of the war so that he could have a peaceful life. A place in the countryside, where he could plant to eat… Away from the city commotion. He used to long for a life-like the one he was having now. But, then, why couldn't he sleep at night wondering how torturous the next day would be?

He had peace. There was no movement, no more people dying in front of him. But Kenshin didn't feel satisfied or relaxed! Instead he found himself fighting against his will to run back to the dojo, where there were domestic chores, yelling, financial difficulties, and argues about trivial things such as food!

Why did he felt at peace in Kyoto living a restless life, but uneasy in Otsu where he had nothing else than tranquility? – He knew the answer.

He used to be in peace because he had a family… someone he deeply loved. And in that time It didn't mattered how big the waves were, he knew that, as long as they stayed together as a family, they would endure.

Peace is not just quietness… He needed peace of mind.

Here, it seemed things went backwards. These six months had been the most tortuous of his life after he stopped wandering. It wasn't Tomoe's fault, she did everything she could to make him happy. He was the one to blame. Kenshinwas guilty for thinking he could love her again. And as a result of his mistake both of them were suffering. He felt a disaster as a husband, they almost didn't speak, didn't go to walk together… and a failure as a man, since he was unable to touch her. In six months sharing the same futon, they never developed physical intimacy. And although Tomoe wouldn't say a word about that, he knew she thought of it.

Kenshin sighed. Once again his choices lead him to a path of solitude and sadness.

He felt ungrateful. Because it was given to him the chance to be happy, but he let it slip away trough his fingers.

The red-haired samurai turned around when he felt Tomoe's presence.

"Dinner is ready." – she smiled and he followed her to the inside. "Smells good." – he said.

Dinner was silent. And it was only when they were almost finishing it that Tomoe asked: "When you saw your friends pictures… did you missed them?" – the question was shy, but Kenshin knew she had no second intentions with it.

"Yes, I did. For a while It was as if they were here again." – he answered.

She smiled. He was being honest. "You do have some good memories of the times you passed with them, don't you?" – Tomoe hoped that if she kept asking him she could find a way to know what was happening in her husband's heart.

"Yes I do." – He sighed. – "Memories of dinners, talks, adventures we lived together. There was this time… when we went on vacations … and I lost the money Kaoru asked me to keep." – his hand slipped to his sleeve: "And I only noticed that after he had enjoyed the stay. So he had to work to pay the bill." – his smile grew bigger: "It was then, that a guest who also was a young painter, decided he wanted to paint Kaoru's portrait."

"What did she said?" – Tomoe asked intrigued why was this the longest conversation they shared since he came back.

"Well, he didn't asked her right away and she ended up finding it when caught him spying her while she was taking bath." – Kenshin laugh surprised Tomoe who genuinely laughed as well. "He regained his conscious after being hit by at least fifty pails."

"All of that for a portrait? He really tried hard." – she observed.

Kenshin felt silent for a moment and then melancholy took over him again: "He said she was his muse."

"A romantic painter… By the way you talk he was probably in love with her." – she concluded.

"I think so." – _Did she found someone by now?_

"Why don't you stop by to see them?" – she asked

"No." – He would never put Kaoru in that situation anymore. Even if he missed her a lot, he would never make her suffer seeing him side by side with Tomoe. Kaoru was a privilege he had lost right to have a long time ago.

"But it's obvious that you missed them." – she kept going – "And if you're worried about me being alone… Then Don't. I also wanted to spend some time with Enishi in the mansion."

Kenshin stared at her in disbelief. Was she being serious?

His heart was beating faster with the idea of seeing his friends again… of seeing Kaoru again. "Ok. Then, I leave tomorrow." – and he got up leaving Tomoe perplexed with how easy he decided and how determined he seemed to be.

Kenshin didn't noticed Tomoe still staring at him as he made his way to their room and started preparing things to his trip.

In the end, he searched between his hakamas, for an object that only he knew that existed. The engagement ring he had bought to Kaoru six months ago. He beheld it for a while remembering why he had chosen such ring. It was a sapphire… blue… matching her eyes…

He sighed thinking about the meaning of all that.

It was craziness! Wrong and right at the same time… It was insane but it was the perfect opportunity to get back the part of the life he had lost.

::::

"Misao Stop seeing thinks where they don't exist!" – Kaoru said for the last time.

"Oh…" – she got closer to Kaoru and whispered on her ear: "I don't believe you don't like even a bit…"

Kaoru grinned at her friends way and shook her head: "Katsura is just a friend."

"A friend who spend the three days of the contest always with his eye on you…" – she gave a small jump: "Seemed he was cheering for you."

"Again… he is just a friend." – Kaoru shrugged her shoulders and tried to keep the conversation out of romantic.

"A friend who happens to leave in the same town as you… it is normal that you…" – she made a pause trying to find the right words: "Collide with each other."

Kaoru laughed: "Ok Misao… Actually I have to meet him. But only because he said he could find me a reversed blade toYahiko."

Misao grin grew bigger: "See? I knew it! Katsura is not going to resist to the woman he himself called:" – she raised her arms as if she was reading the newspaper again: "Fascinating!"

"Misao! Katsura is a lot older than me! He said those words not in a romantic way but more a paternal one." – Kaoru said as she observed a woman selling biscuits. "Let's buy those!"

"But Kaoru…" – Misao was still lost in thoughts and didn't noticed Kaoru's words: "Kenshin was ten years older than you, and you never cared about that, Katsura and Kenshin are probably the same age…" – as she stared at Kaoru – "Oh! I am sorry…" – a hand flew to cover her mouth. She mentioned the samurai without thinking: "I didn't wanted to… "

"That's ok, Misao…" – Kaoru said. Suddenly she stopped caring about the biscuits… The mention of his name made her loose her appetite. "I must learn to deal with this."

"Have you had any news from him?" – she didn't knew if asking would do any worst but decided to do it anyway.

Kaoru shook her head: "No. And… it's better this way."- No letters or news. He said nothing during all this time, and that only meant one thing: What they had was dead. And that was the way it should be, because otherwise neither of them would be able to move on with their lives. "Even if I still love him, I am totally aware that it is an impossible relationship.I just have to move on."

Misao stood lost in time remembering when she and Kenshin met. She was pretty sure he had left someone behind, someone he deeply loved, and when she met Kaoru, she realized it was her. Kaoru was the object of the samurai's love. And even when he asked her to go away at Hiko's house, it was as if he was fighting against himself.

He loved her and that was the truth. Even if he tried to hide it… he couldn't. Everyone knew he loved her, only Kaorudoubt of that. And now… it was so odd to hear that it was over…

"Which house is this? It's huge!" – Kaoru's voice woke her and she glanced at the mansion on her left side.

"This house?" – she looked at Kaoru and then to the building again: "This a home for young mothers and women who are alone in this world." – Kaoru's brows knitted together and Misao added: "Widows… and also women who got pregnant before marry… others are refused by their own families… you know that sort of things."

"And they take care of them, in here?"

"Yes. The ones who have a house only have their meals here, when others who don't even have a home, they can stay as long as they help in the chores, you know taking care of the others. At least their children get to live in dignity." –Misao added: "People usually gives them food and clothes, we helped them too, that's how they keep on going."

Kaoru stared at the woman on the door. She had a two-years old baby on her arms. The mother's eyes were blue and her hair was black as Kaoru's… Suddenly Kaoru felt butterflies on her stomach.

"I am so sad you have to leave. It's so good to have you here… Time passes faster when we are together."

Kaoru felt flattered with her words, but she tried to avoid a melancholic atmosphere around them: "Ohh… I don't believe they pass that fast… afterwards you're anxious to Aoshi to get back."

Misao gave her a smile: ""Yeah, that's true. The clock seems to stop when he is not around, but your presence helps me to deal better with this.

Kaoru sighed. It was good to see Misao so happily in love. They deserved it. It didn't matter how messy Aoshi's head was, Misao always managed to understand him.

That was an attribute of women who were in love.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

KENSHIN – TWO DAYS OF JOURNEY

In his back to the dojo, he thought about the excuses he could give. The one which make more sense was to be on a visit. After all no one forbid him to come back.

He was walking faster than usual. But as his nose felt the smells, and his ears heard the familiar sounds and voices… walking faster was just a natural reaction that showed how much he wanted to get back.

Since he got to Kyoto everything was familiar to him.

But the main thing who was almost forcing him to run instead of walking was to wonder how her reaction would be.

Would she run to him? Hug him?... he was sure she wouldn't.

But… would she accept him to stay, even as a visitor? – he wished she could… after all Kaoru always had a forgiving heart.

As Kenshin saw the dojo gates by far he sighed in relief. Finally he was back home after six months. He felt like an immigrant returning to his family after years outside his country. The gate wasn't fully closed so, as his hand touched it, it opened and Kenshin got inside: "Kenshin?"

The red haired man stared back at his friend and tried to control not to burst in laughter. Sano had a broom in his hands and was "trying" to sweep the leaves that the arrival of the Autumn has brought. Domestic chores were never his thing… He guessed a lot changed in those six months. – Well, probably Kaoru forced him to do that.

Sano observed with some awe the man in front of him. He had a tired expression on his face and he seemed a lot older… As if six years passed by him instead of six months. "Hey man, how are you doing?" – he walked to him gladly leaving the broom behind.

The bag on his shoulder was placed on the floor as Kenshin searched in his mind for an answer. The lack of it along with the look on his eyes only made it clear to Sano he wasn't happy with the course of his life.

Sano wasn't mad at him at all… He only hated to see Kaoru down. After all, she was like a sister to him.

"How's your wife?" – Sano asked wanting to know if he was just passing by, or if things between them didn't get well and he decided to come back.

"She is spending some time with her brother." – he replied looking around the dojo as if he was searching for someone._She is not at home… Maybe she went shopping…_

"You may ask, no one is going to criticize you for that." – Sano said, clearly understanding what his friend was thinking.

Kenshin smiled as the words inside his throat finally came out: "Where is Kaoru?"

"She went to Tokyio in vacation. She must arrive in a couple of days." – he replied wondering what she would think of this situation.

The samurai sighed. His joy was being postponed.

"What happened between you two, was… painful for her." – he turned his back on Kenshin and picked up the broom again – "Even if she smiles and try to act normal, I know she suffers."

Kenshin was shocked with the promptness Sano approached the subject. "I know… It's not being easy to me as well." – His chest cringed at the thought of Kaoru's expression at the moment she realized he was going with Tomoe to Otsu. Powerless…. As he was.

Although he felt Kenshin had failed choosing his past above his family, Sano couldn't blame him or even be harsh with his friend. Even to someone, who as Megumi said, was a brainless rooster, it was obvious the samurai was emotionally wrecked.

But, he kept in mind, that in time, he would warn Kenshin to keep the proper distance from Kaoru in order not give her hope, her was after all, a married man. But for now, he decided to help: "You look tired."

"Long journey." – the red-haired man simply replied disguising with a smile. Even if Sano knew that there was something else he chose not to ask: "You can stay in your old room if you want."

Kenshin felt glad. "Leave the dinner to me."

"I was counting with that." - he said getting back to the broom again.

::

Things were as he left them. Apparently no one touched anything. He asked himself if that was a signal that it was painful for her to go to that room, or maybe she was expecting him to get back…

As he kept the few things he had brought with him, he felt his energies being renewed.

He got out of the room and searched for things to do. Laundry… The basket was, as always, full. As he took water of the pit to clean them Sano asked: "Weren't you tired?"

The red-haired samurai who already was on his knees scrubbing answered: "I feel better now." – getting back to the dojo was like a breath of fresh air into his life. "It's a sunny day. I must make the most of this if I want the clothes to dry."

Even without understanding how could someone find contentment in domestic chores, Sano nod. It was Kenshin after all, and something's in him just didn't have an explication. "Listen, I have to go to the city to solve some things."

"Ok." – Kenshin nod.

::::

As Sano left, Kenshin stopped scrubbing the cloths and stared at her room.

_I must not._

Longing to feel even the slightest trace of her presence, her fragrance he was driven to leave laundry behind and, as in auto-pilot, his feet lead him to her door. His hands which were still wet, slowly slide the door open as he stepped inside.

Eyes closed for a while, Kenshin allowed himself to be comforted by the sweet scent of jasmine infused in all her things.

_All this time we share was… wonderful Kenshin. _He wanted to grab her, and ask her to run away with him… _Why? Why wasn't able to do it?_

_Thank you for everything mister wanderer_...

_Good-Bye._

Good-bye. That word should only be used to people who died but she used it with him. Was he dead to her?

"Knock… Knock…" – the samurai stared at the dojo gate – Someone was at the door.

Kenshin walked towards it, part of him wishing to be her, even knowing what Sano said. So, as he opened the gate, both, him and the person on the other side were caught by surprise.

"It can't be…"

::::::::.

**Who is at the door? **

**What do you think?**

**Hope to hear it from you!**

**Bye**

**Jou-chan**


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